{"id":2850,"date":"2016-04-09T16:38:21","date_gmt":"2016-04-09T20:38:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/?p=2850"},"modified":"2016-04-09T16:38:21","modified_gmt":"2016-04-09T20:38:21","slug":"not-my-monkeys-not-my-circus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/2016\/04\/09\/not-my-monkeys-not-my-circus\/","title":{"rendered":"Not my monkeys, not my circus"},"content":{"rendered":"

I remember the first time a saw a meme with this saying, I thought it was funny. The more I saw it, the more it \"Not<\/a>became a motto, a mantra even. It\u2019s funny how this saying made me aware of how many times I have allowed myself to get caught up in drama that really had nothing to do with me.<\/p>\n

I know that my ability to take on other people\u2019s problems as my own comes from my need to fix things. I want to help; I want to make it better. I don\u2019t like to see the people I care about hurt in any way, who does? Some of us are just better at keeping our distance in matters that don\u2019t really involve them. They understand that whatever the issue is, it\u2019s not their circus, and definitely not their monkeys!<\/p>\n

How do we know when we\u2019ve gone beyond the point of no return? For me, it starts with becoming personally invested in the issue. I\u2019m no longer offering advice as an impartial third party; I\u2019ve made the problem, my problem. I\u2019m constantly checking in, making sure everything\u2019s okay. I\u2019m neglecting stuff in my own backyard. I bought the circus, monkeys included, when I have my own zoo that needs attention!<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve realized that getting too involved in matters that don\u2019t affect us personally can be a dangerous thing. We can become so involved in the issue that it consumes us. When other people\u2019s problems start to affect our emotional well-being, it\u2019s time to take a step back. Feeling bad or sorry for someone doesn\u2019t make their situation any better, it just makes you feel bad.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t offer help and support to others. There\u2019s a big difference between taking on someone\u2019s issues as your own and empathizing with what they\u2019re going through. If you find yourself being pulled into someone else\u2019s difficulties, ask yourself why you think this is happening. Oftentimes, it\u2019s because of unresolved issues in our own lives. We all have our own circus and monkeys to deal with. Until we get our own issues in order, we\u2019re in no position to help others in a healthy, productive way.<\/p>\n

The next time you feel yourself getting drawn into someone else\u2019s drama, stop for a minute. Ask yourself what you can do to truly be of service to the person going through the challenging time. Do you serve them better by becoming invested in their problem, or by being a voice of reason and positive support in finding a solution? If you\u2019re unsure, it may be time to remind yourself that it\u2019s not always your circus, or your monkeys.\u00a0\u2665<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember the first time a saw a meme with this saying, I thought it was funny. The more I saw it, the more it became a motto, a mantra even. It\u2019s funny how this saying made me aware of how many times I have allowed myself to get caught up in drama that really […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[502,1092,1093,1094,1095,537,460,1096,1097],"class_list":["post-2850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughtoftheday","tag-embrace-your-destiny","tag-empathizing-with-others","tag-not-my-circus","tag-not-my-monkeys","tag-polish-proverb","tag-sandra-dawes","tag-self-preservation","tag-taking-on-family-drama","tag-taking-on-other-peoples-problems"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2850\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}