Creating boundaries \u2013 it sounds like something you would hear in a therapy session or read about in a self-help book, but what does it really mean?\u00a0 For me, it means being self-aware, able to know and express to others what is acceptable in my life.\u00a0 This has not been an easy feat for me by any means!\u00a0 For the longest time the word \u201cno\u201d was simply not in my vocabulary.\u00a0 I was a chronic people pleaser who had no idea who I was or what I wanted.<\/p>\n
I now realize that my desire to please the world was deeply rooted in low self-esteem and self-confidence.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I really started to work on myself that I realized I needed to learn how to love and respect myself.\u00a0 I was tired of playing victim and no longer desired to be anyone\u2019s doormat.\u00a0 I finally figured out that if I wanted people to treat me better, I had to treat myself better!<\/p>\n
Setting boundaries is crucial to achieving balance in our lives.\u00a0 Without establishing boundaries, we are left to the whims of the people in our lives.\u00a0 We are unable to ensure our own needs are met because we are too wrapped up in the lives of our friends and family.\u00a0 We are described as reliable, dependable, old faithful \u2013 but what does all that really mean?\u00a0 It means we\u2019re the \u201cgo-to\u201d person who never says no, regardless of how imposing the request is \u2013 it means we have no boundaries.<\/p>\n
I finally got to a point in my life where I had to ask if this martyrdom was really worth it.\u00a0 I became aware of my increased feelings or resentment.\u00a0 I was growing tired of feeling put out and taken advantage of.\u00a0 Because of my saviour complex I was unwilling to ask for help \u2013 I believed I existed to help, not be helped, but I was at a point where I was burning out emotionally and physically.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t a nice place to be, and I became bitter.\u00a0 Of course, for the people around us, the shift from accommodating to aggravated is an unexpected, unwelcomed surprise.\u00a0 I was beyond rationally explaining my feelings and became the Queen of passive aggressive behaviour!\u00a0 Not a very productive solution to the problem, but one I was, unfortunately, very familiar with.\u00a0 Finally growing tired of constant arguments and emotional outbursts, I had to move to a new level of understanding.<\/p>\n
I finally realized the importance of creating boundaries.\u00a0 It gives us permission to put ourselves first.\u00a0 Boundaries allow us to say no when we are asked to do something that we don\u2019t want to do without feeling guilty.\u00a0 When we know where that imaginary line in the sand is, we can make time for the things that are important to us and not waste time doing things that don\u2019t contribute to our well being.<\/p>\n
Life has been so much easier now that I\u2019ve given myself permission to establish boundaries in my life.\u00a0 For example, it has allowed me to reconnect with my love of reading as well as writing!\u00a0 It isn\u2019t always easy to say no, I still have moments of guilt, but I am reminded that I need to be true to myself at all times if I want to live a balanced, peaceful life.\u00a0 I no long want to carry around a mental balance sheet of favours given and owed to me.\u00a0 I want to give of myself in an honest way, with no expectations, and if I can\u2019t do that, then it is best I don\u2019t give at all.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean I will stop doing for others of giving of myself \u2013 it just means I have decided that rather than acting from a place of need and expectation, I will act from a place of love and abundance.\u00a0\u2665<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Creating boundaries \u2013 it sounds like something you would hear in a therapy session or read about in a self-help book, but what does it really mean?\u00a0 For me, it means being self-aware, able to know and express to others what is acceptable in my life.\u00a0 This has not been an easy feat for me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[267,389,138,269,390],"class_list":["post-734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughtoftheday","tag-low-self-esteem","tag-martyrdom","tag-resentment","tag-self-confidence","tag-setting-boundaries"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=734"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/734\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harbirzinc.com\/sandradawes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}